


Only the Beginning

by SagaSvanhildr



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-04 15:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SagaSvanhildr/pseuds/SagaSvanhildr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles written as a way for me to justify the ME3 ending pre-Extended Cut dlc.  They feature my Spacer/War Hero/Paragon/Vanguard FemShep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quarantine

**Author's Note:**

> These were originally posted on my Tumblr. I'm sagasvanhildr there too.

Eight months to the day that the Normandy crash landed on that planet, Kaidan Alenko arrived back on Earth and was escorted to the most capable hospital still standing.

Not to see Shepard, whom he had been told was still alive and giving orders from a hospital bed somewhere, but to be kept in quarantine until they were sure that the crew hadn’t picked anything up while they were stranded.

It was the third day when he heard it. Normally, shouting wouldn’t have been out of place in a hospital, but up until this point the room had proven to be soundproof. With Joker and Javik in rooms on either side of him, he was pretty thankful for that fact. So yeah… it seemed a little strange.

The only view he had outside of his room was from a twelve-inch square window at eye level on the door. If it wasn’t within about three feet on either side of the window, he couldn’t see it. He went to the window anyway in the hope that he could see something.

He didn’t know which direction the shouting had come from, but a nurse ran past him headed to his right. She was followed by two more nurses. And then two orderlies. And then two guards.

Something was obviously going on. Was the hospital under attack? After everything that had happened, who would do that? He needed to get out and help, but he knew he couldn’t. They had taken his omnitool and there were no controls for the door inside of the room - that was the first thing he checked.

His attention was drawn back to the window by the unmistakable blue light of biotics. The remnants of a shockwave were cascading down the hallway. Whoever had done it had to be close. He still couldn’t see anything though. It was unbelievably frustrating to be so helpless. He hadn’t felt this way in years. In fact, the last time he felt like this was when the original Normandy went down. He was going to petition the Alliance to never give another ship that name.

There was another flare of biotics and this time it was so close he could feel it. It was strong. If this was an enemy…

That’s when someone entered his three-foot view from the right. This must have been who all of the nurses and guards were trying to stop. It was a woman wearing the same indiscriminate hospital clothing that he was, so she was obviously a patient. She had been running, and was looking behind her, but came to a stop in front of his door to look in his window.

And he found himself face to face with Shepard. His Shepard. The woman he had spent every night for the last eight months dreaming about. The reason he had kept going when the others had lost hope. The reason any of them were still there at all.

He could see her lips moving and knew she was speaking, but obviously couldn’t understand. She was speaking so fast that he couldn’t even read her lips. He shook his head to try to tell her when her head snapped quickly back to his right. She stopped talking, so someone must have informed her that it was pointless.

She stared at him for what seemed like a lifetime before she slowly raised her hand and pressed her palm against the glass. He immediately brought his hand up to meet hers and for a second he swore he could actually feel her. He looked back to her face and saw that she had begun crying. He was on the verge of tears himself when her eyes suddenly widened and she dropped her hand away from the window.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow in silent question as she started worrying her bottom lip. She looked in both directions in the hallway and her shoulders sunk a little before she looked back at him and held up a finger as if to tell him to wait.

She backed up to the other side of the hallway and he got a good look at her for the first time. The shirt she was wearing was very large and loose fitting, so it did nothing for her curves. Imagine his surprise when she pulled the shirt tight and showed him a very large curve.

The curve of a very pregnant belly.

Kaidan’s mouth was moving but he was at a loss for words. A multitude of questions sprung to his mind, the first being ‘what’ and ‘how’, which were stupid because he knew the answers to both. His heart practically leapt from his chest.

That was until the voice in this head, the one that had questioned her every move since that fateful day on Horizon, decided to speak up. Just how pregnant was she? There were at least a few months when she could have thought he was dead. Is it possible that she…

As if she sensed his anxiety, she stuffed her hand in her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper as she stepped back to the window. She unfolded it and held it up so he could see.

It was an image of her ultrasound. And across the top were the most amazing words he had ever read.

Baby Alenko. 35 weeks. Female.

After staring at it for some time he realized that the completely blank expression on his face was probably not doing Shepard any good. Sure enough, when he looked at her he could see the fear in her eyes. He put as much joy and love as he could gather into the smile he gave her. She started crying again. 

I love you, she mouthed through the glass as she brought her other hand back up to its previous position.

“I love you too,” Kaidan sighed. He hoped the Alliance decided to release them soon, for everyone’s sake. Shepard would destroy the place before she let him miss the birth of their daughter.


	2. A Woman Scorned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in the same universe as Quarantine, but about 7 months earlier.

Hannah Shepard had barely been back on Earth for an hour and she had already had enough of the place. The devastation was terrible; they were lucky this hospital was still standing. Her shuttle had flown over numerous cities that were just… gone. The buildings, the people, everything had either been destroyed or taken. And while the streets here were lined with bodies of the deceased that were waiting to hopefully be identified and claimed, there was at least a sense of hope in the people that she had seen. They hadn’t lost everything. They knew they were the lucky ones. 

Her thoughts drifted back to those people she had seen outside trying to pick up the pieces and get back to some semblance of normalcy while she sat in the conference room full of doctors arguing over what to do with her daughter. She had been found in the rubble that was once London after the Reapers were destroyed and brought here to the closest hospital that could actually do something for her. The best doctors that were left on Earth and a few that had been on the ships during the assault had been brought in as well to provide the best medical care possible. 

So many doctors equaled too many egos in Hannah’s opinion, because they couldn’t agree on anything. From the treatment of her burns to her broken arm to the gunshot wounds, everyone had wanted to try something different while her daughter lay in a coma down the hall for the last month. She was stable and starting to recover, but each of the doctors wanted to be able to say that they had been the one to return Shepard to her former self. Hannah couldn’t stand any of them.

She was here today to make them come to some sort of agreement. If only so they could finally bring Shepard out of the coma and find out what exactly happened on the Citadel. Why did the Reapers suddenly fall? How were the Relays destroyed? 

Where was the Normandy? 

After three hours of debate, they had finally come to a consensus on all of Shepard’s treatment. It was a good thing too, because Hannah was really starting to get impatient. She was just about to pack up her notes when the room got quiet for once. 

“Rear Admiral, there is also the matter of your daughter’s pregnancy,” one of them, she wasn’t sure which, spoke. She was too busy trying to make the room stop spinning to know which one it was. 

“She’s pregnant?” Hannah finally pulled herself together long enough to speak. 

“Yes, ma’am. She is about a month along.”

“So what is the issue?”

“Many of us feel that allowing the pregnancy to continue would be detrimental to her health and recovery. Any energy that her body has to devote to the developing fetus is energy that could otherwise be used to heal her wounds. We may yet discover other injuries that will be aggravated by the growth as well. Terminating the pregnancy now is really in her best interest.”

Hannah was knocked back in her chair by those words. Her daughter was pregnant with what was very likely the only thing she had left of Major Alenko; he was the only man she had ever even acknowledged to Hannah and her sources had confirmed that they had rekindled their relationship, and these doctors wanted to take that away from her? There was no question as to what her daughter would want. That they had even considered it an option made her rage internally.

“If you think this ends any other way than with Commander Shepard walking out of this hospital with that baby in her arms, you obviously don’t know anything about my daughter,” Hannah said as she stood and collected her things. None of the doctors could look her in the eye. As she stormed past them to the door she turned and added, “If anything happens to that baby I will hold every single one of you responsible. And when the Alliance informs each one of the races she united and saved that you have crushed the dreams of their savior, you will be ostracized. And that isn’t even the worst part. When she wakes up, and I make damn sure that she knows what happened, she will count you among her enemies. And we all know how that turns out.”

With that Hannah walked out on them, but not without catching the looks of fear on their faces. Good. Fear was a great motivator. 

As Hannah walked past the window to her daughter’s room she paused. It wasn’t worth going in to sit with her. Shepard wouldn’t know she was there anyway and it sure as hell wasn’t what she would want her mother to be doing right now, she knew that much. 

“I’ll find him, baby. I promise.”


	3. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Quarantine

“Alright, Major Alenko, all of your tests have come back normal and we haven’t observed any unusual symptoms or behavior. I believe we will be clear to release you tomorrow morning,” the doctor’s voice came through the hidden communication unit in the ceiling of his room. He’d been in there for nine days and they hadn’t even used it until a day ago. It would have been nice to know about for the last week that he and Shepard had been staring at each other through the window. 

 

Ever since that first day he had found her looking back at him, they had allowed her to come to his door for a few minutes each afternoon. Well… he assumed that they allowed her because she always had an escort. She had been bringing a pen and paper and filling him in on everything that he missed concerning survivors, rebuilding, and herself with recovery and the pregnancy. He was devastated when he found out that she had spent three months in a coma and he wasn’t there for her when she woke up. Again. At least it hadn’t been two years this time. And she had had Jack there with her; that was almost comforting. 

 

“Do you have any questions, Major?” The voice drew him back to the present. 

 

“No, no questions, but can I ask for a favor?” 

 

“What is your request?” 

 

“Can you make sure that no one tells Shepard? I want to surprise her,” he smiled at the thought of finally holding her in his arms; maybe even feeling his daughter kick for the first time. 

 

There was a pause from the other end of the comm. “We don’t want to see another… incident occur, Major Alenko. Do you think that is wise?” 

 

“You said that you will release me in the morning, right? She doesn’t visit until the afternoon. She won’t even know the difference.” 

 

“Alright, Major. I’ll see to it that no one informs her.” 

 

“Thanks, Doc,” Kaidan sighed in relief and sat down on his bed. He just had to get through one more night and then he would get to be with her. To actually be with her. It had been great seeing her and knowing that she was okay, but this was the moment that he was actually looking forward to. He wouldn’t be sure that any of this was real until he physically touched her; felt her heartbeat, her breath. 

 

He stretched out on his bed knowing that he wouldn’t really sleep that night. 

 

*** 

 

The first thing Kaidan did when he left his room was head straight for Shepard’s. Other members of the crew were being released as well; all but Tali, Garrus, and Joker, actually, but he didn’t hang around to socialize. None of them seemed to mind either. 

 

He didn’t even have to ask for directions to her room. As he walked down the halls with his bag of belongings, the hospital employees simply pointed. Everyone knew exactly where he was headed. 

 

When he came to her room, he stopped and looked in the window. She was still asleep. Either the pregnancy was taking a lot out of her, or she had gotten used to a life without a crisis. She had never slept this late on the Normandy. Kaidan slowly opened the door as quietly as he could and set his bag on the ground. She was sleeping on her left side and the only chair was on her right, so her back was to him when he sat down. 

 

As much as he wanted to touch her and have a proper reunion, he couldn’t bring himself to wake her. It was rare that he got to see her so at peace. He wanted her to stay that way a little longer. 

 

“I’ve gotten awfully used to letting people watch me sleep. So unless this is important, I’m just going to stay in the one position that is the slightest bit comfortable for now,” she obviously didn’t know that it was him who had come into her room, but she was awake now nonetheless. 

 

“That’s fine, I’ve waited this long already,” he teased. She immediately, but very gingerly, sat up and turned to face him. He moved out of the chair to the edge of her bed and pulled her into his arms as she began sobbing his name. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m here, Shepard. I’m not going anywhere ever again.” 

 

She calmed down quickly and he wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. Hormones… obviously,” she stroked her large belly and then quickly grabbed his hand and placed it under hers against her stomach. “Someone else wants to say hello.” 

 

Kaidan could honestly say that this wasn’t how he had expected things to go. Dreams of a future with Shepard, even children with her, had been all that had kept him going while they were stranded. There was no denying that this was everything that he wanted. He just wished that he would have actually been here for it. For her. And while it killed him to know that he had missed out on the first eight months of his daughter’s life, feeling her kick was the most perfect moment of his. 

 

He wrapped his other hand behind Shepard’s neck and pulled her to him as his lips crashed into hers. For a moment there was nothing else; just them and the increasingly rapid beeping of the machine monitoring Shepard’s heart rate. They finally had to pull apart to breathe. He didn’t let go of her though, he held her there, lips and foreheads still touching. 

 

“It’s about time you showed up,” she laughed as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him again.


	4. Tattoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finds inspiration for her first tattoo post-war.

The breeze coming off of English Bay and filling their home with the scents and sounds of the beach was too enticing to stay indoors on the sunny summer day. They had let the kids sleep in long enough. It was time to get some fresh air.

Now, Shepard watched as her two oldest children splashed and played in the water with their father; the third giggling happily in Kaidan’s arms. Reflexively, she ran her hand along the new little bump in her abdomen. Soon, baby number four would be kicking away like crazy if she was anything like the others.

She laughed as she remembered Garrus’s reaction to the news. _Another one, Shepard? So you saved the Earth and now you’re leading the charge in repopulating too?_

What could she say? She’d always wanted a big family. Growing up practically alone will do that to you. That was one of the reasons that she had loved having Jack live with them too, but now the girl that had come to be like the sister she never had was moving on and finally starting her own family. It had Shepard feeling a little down, but thinking of the new life that would soon take her place at filling their home with screams and broken objects eased her mind.

Truth be told, she was feeling a bit melancholy in general lately. Almost eight years had passed since she had destroyed the Reapers. She loved her life; everyday she was thankful that she and Kaidan had been given the opportunity to finally have all of this. And many of her friends had decided to stay on Earth as well after either taking an early retirement from the Alliance or coming to teach at the school that the two of them had set up for all of the new biotics that were born after the war.

Jack and James were getting married. Garrus had purchased a home nearby because ‘he doubted she was done getting into trouble’. Steve had even found someone. Everyone was really moving on with their lives.

But everyday she also thought of the ones who hadn’t made it to the happy ending. Mordin… Thane… Legion… They’d all come so close before falling. It hurt her to think that she had failed them. And even now, she had done nothing to honor them, to thank them for their sacrifice.

Kaidan would say that living her life was enough, but she didn’t believe that it was.

She had wandered a way down the beach while lost in her thoughts, but at this moment realized just how far out she was getting and turned around to head back. At the first step, something partially buried in the sand caught her eye. Shepard couldn’t explain it, but it just seemed out of place. She gingerly bent down and pulled it free.

It was an ordinary seashell, just like the other million or so scattered across the beach. She saw them everyday; she had chosen this location for their home because she wanted the reminder. _Might go somewhere sunny. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells. Might run tests on the seashells._

But the shell was also a color combination that she had never seen before. Mostly a pale green, but with dark ridges and red hues at the edges. _Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand…_

Wiping the sand off of it, she realized that it had been damaged. It had probably been tossed about in the tide and battered against the rocks because part of the center had chipped away. _That doesn’t explain why you used my armor to fix yourself. There was a hole._

She shut her eyes against the onslaught of emotions this simple thing caused within her. How could something so small, so seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, reduce her to a blubbering mess as she knelt on the beach?

Maybe it was some kind of sign. Each of them was insignificant in the grand scheme of things when you thought about it. The Reapers had shown her that.

No. That wasn’t true, was it? She hadn’t done it alone, but would someone else have subjected themselves to the hell that she went through to get there? Would she have had the same result if Kaidan hadn’t been by her side? He was important. Their beautiful children were important.

No. It was certainly a sign, but that wasn’t it. Everyone that had fought with her had been important. Significant. Especially those that she had lost. This was her way of knowing that they were still with her. They were just waiting across the sea.

She stood and headed back to Kaidan and the kids, a new smile on her face and the shell in her pocket.

“Hey,” Kaidan said as he saw her approaching, bouncing their little boy in his arms. He must have noticed that she’d been crying because his look turned to one of concern. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything is perfect,” she smiled and kissed first his cheek and then their son’s. “Remember when I said I wanted to get a tattoo?” They had talked about it a long time ago but she had never been able to decide what she wanted.

“I think it finally came to me.” She placed her hand in her pocket to ensure that it was still there.

She hadn’t yet done anything to thank them, for all that they had done and what they had given her, but this would be a good start.


End file.
